THE TWO SEXES: YOUR APPEARANCE

While there may be many ways of enjoying sex, most people will enjoy sex more if they are sure of themselves, not simply sure of what they are doing, but sure of their attractiveness and desirability.

Attractiveness or sex appeal is hard to define but sexuality has more to do with your attitude towards yourself, your partner and your lifestyle than with anything else, and certainly more than with obvious physical attributes. We have all met rather plain, unassuming people who have great charm and attraction, which is difficult to pin down but often has to do with having a positive attitude towards life, a ready smile, a subtle sense of humour and enthusiasm. Other people are attractive because of their eccentricity and uniqueness – how they speak or express themselves, mannerisms, surprising candour, or individualistic presentation.

Such qualities are probably more important than your actual appearance, and while it is worth spending some time on how you look, you should maintain a sense of balance by not becoming obsessive about your physical appearance. Too many men and women feel dissatisfied because they compare themselves to an exaggerated image of what is good looking. Responding to your partner and being willing to share pleasure are the qualities that ultimately make a person attractive.

Although over-attention to appearance is not necessary, some relationships can founder if either partner neglects his or her appearance and hygiene. The best possible reason for taking trouble over your appearance is for your own self-esteem, but you should also do so for the sake of your partner, otherwise he or she could interpret neglect as a sign of not caring. This does not imply that one has to spend hours on preparation but an unclean and/or smelly body, dowdy, ill-kempt clothes, an unshaven face, curlers in the hair and an ill-tempered face all imprint themselves on the memory and become difficult to erase at times of intimacy. A sloppy appearance invites comparison with the time when you first met, and the inevitable thought arises that love is on the wane.

*52\79\2*

Share and Enjoy: