ANXIETY LEAD TO A POTENCY DESTROYER KNOWN AS SPECTATORING

Anxiety can also lead to a potency destroyer known as spectatoring. George, for example, had a good sexual relationship with his wife for many years. He worked hard, and looked forward to the time he and his wife would retire, do some traveling and enjoy themselves without a lot of responsibilities. Unfortunately, shortly before George was scheduled to retire, his wife became ill and died. Understandably, the loss of his life partner threw George into a deep depression.

Gradually, over a period of months, the 62-year-old man recovered. He slowly picked up the pieces of his life and began to make new plans. Now single, this attractive and vigorous man began receiving lots of invitations. George began dating, and after a while, he limited his attractions to just one woman, Claire, a 55-year-old real estate agent. It was with her that George first experienced an erection problem. “I was just unable to get a total erection,” he says, still uncomfortable at the memory. “Claire obviously felt it was my problem, not hers.”

At first, George attributed his erection difficulty to the loss of his wife, an interpretation his doctor agreed with. But as it persisted, he noticed a change in himself. Beset with anxiety about his ability to perform—would it work this time or not?—he watched himself as though he were someone else. He monitored his body’s reactions instead of enjoying them. This spectatoring caused more potency problems, more anxiety for George. A vicious cycle of potency problems, depression and stress was launched.

In George’s case, he had been diabetic for years, but it had never caused him erection problems (see chapter 4 for more on diabetes). The death of his wife was an enormous shock and caused him great stress and depression. By themselves, depression and other mental conditions can cause erection difficulties. In combination with other factors, they can be even more formidable. It seems likely that George’s first as-a-widower experience with erection problems was due to a combination of diabetes, some depression and perhaps anxiety over being with a new partner. Some empathetic professional counseling and information about diabetes and impotence, perhaps along with physical treatment, might have prevented the cycle from continuing.

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